Author | Speaker | Encourager


Our Deep Desire to Belong…

girl-891637_640How badly do we want to belong?

I believe we come hardwired with a desire to belong. To feel connected.

Some of us crave it more than others—–which is probably based on how secure we felt growing up and how deeply connected we are to others right now in our lives.

For those of us with strong, loving relationships, we don’t notice the pulsating need to belong. It’s only when we lack those relationships does that aching need surface.

When I was a junior in high school, my parents transferred me from our small, rural high school of one hundred twenty-five students, to a thriving school of twelve hundred. It was a radical change for me and I felt terribly insecure and alone. Sixteen is a rough age for an introvert to try to slip into social circles that are already firmly established.

But another new girl and I became friends. I was daily at her house. Having grown up in a casual farming community, I didn’t think much about just opening the front door and walking into her house—-other than it made me feel like I belonged. Like I was part of the family.

Her mom thought differently. Guests are required to knock. I totally get that and completely respect it. But I was sad. I so desperately didn’t want to feel like I was on the outside. I wanted to be part of the inner circle.

So now, when my kids’ friends open the back door and slip into our house with a smile and a hello (no knock required), my heart warms. I love that they feel comfortable coming into our space uninvited—–knowing they are welcome and they belong.

How many of us feel that sense of belonging with God? That He is our safe place? A lap we can crawl onto…a shoulder we can cry into…and an ear we can vent to?

Do we know Him as Friend? Counselor? Teacher?

Or do we fear Him as “the Lord who points out our sins?”

He wants to be our ultimate safe place. The One we can turn to with a certainty that we belong to Him. In Him rests love-826936_640our identity, security and being.

Without connection to Him, we are more vulnerable to loneliness and isolation. If you feel far from God, or intimacy feels too overwhelming to try to create, just start talking to Him as if He were a safe and trusted friend.

He can handle any emotion or thought you throw out to Him. He’s actually longs for connection with you, and there is nothing about you that disappoints Him.


Father, please give me the insight into how much You crave relationship with me. Stir my heart to talk with You and share my thoughts, dreams and desires. And my day to day experiences. To talk to You as I would a friend. Teach me to recognize Your voice and to know You are with me even when I don’t feel Your presence near. I want to know You as My safe place. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Photos via Pixabay 

Leave a Reply

  • (will not be published)