Author | Speaker | Encourager


How Full Is Our Relationship Tank?

tree-1090854_640Are we connected to fulfilling relationships, or distant ones?

We live in a culture that is moving away from emotional intimacy.

Social media allows us to present what we want others to see of ourselves. It doesn’t foster transparency and vulnerability.

There are people who come across as being open and honest about themselves and their situations. But sitting in front of a screen and sharing your difficulties via wireless communication garners sympathy from “friends,” but it is several steps removed from real connection.

We feel good when we read supportive comments, but does it really meet our emotional needs?

I’m not trying to knock social media, as it can be a positive tool for staying in touch with people and learning about important social issues. But it shouldn’t be utilized as a replacement for true relationship.

I wonder if our world is full of lonely, lonely people who try to try to stave off emptiness through the connections they create online.

It can feel like a relationship, but how deep do those roots of friendship and love go? I’m glad for the friends I have on Facebook, but I haven’t had an in-person conversation with many of them in years.

We were made to function in close relationships, so when we don’t get emotional intimacy the way our hearts were designed to receive it, our starving souls will try to soak it up any way we can get it.

I wonder if one of the tactics of the enemy is to amp up our busyness so we don’t have time to develop emotionally intimate friendships.

I chatted with a woman at the gym today. We walked into the facility at the same time and both ended up in the locker room when we had finished. She mentioned that she had gone to a class. I told her I was too impatient for classes, that I prefer to get my workout done quickly.

She gave me a sheepish smile and said, “I go to the class because I need relationships.”

We are wired to be connected with others, some of us more than others. How much does her love tank get filled in a class of gyrating women?

human-763156_640Maybe a lot. Or maybe she only needs to be topped off.

But I wonder how many of us are emotionally starving and just want someone to see us, love us and want to hang around us?

That is normal. It’s how we came out of the womb.

Toddlers are attention magnets. “Watch me, watch me.” They do their little somersault and then look up to see if you kept your eyes on them.

We want to be seen and valued. So maybe we need to slow down and invite people more closely into our lives.


Father, I want to be deeply connected to others and I want to be loved for who I am. I don’t want to be judged or rejected. Teach me how to be the friend I desire, someone who is safe and worthy to be called a friend. Highlight the people that you’ve brought into my life to be a friend and a shoulder I can lean on. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Photos via Pixabay


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