Author | Speaker | Encourager


Is It Okay To Love Yourself?

index-315754_640How well do we love ourselves?

The recurring battle of my mind is with accusation. The enemy is stealthy and as soon as he sees a vulnerable moment, he slings an arrow toward my heart (Eph 6:16).

The accusations are against my value as a mom and my worth as a person—-that usually circles back to how I was as a mom.

Can I just say that I’m sick of the enemy’s attacks? Angry that I even get sucked into them. I know in my mind that all my failures are covered, my kids are loved and doing great, so why do I circle the drain of parental failure? Why do my mistakes continue to torment?

The other day I was on a run and God asked me to stop so He could talk to me. As I stood in the middle of the bike path He asked, “Do you know you’re loved?”

Emotion welled up inside, even as I wrestled through the question. I know I’m loved, but do I really know it in my emotional knower, rather than just my mind? And there was the sneaking suspicion that God wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t an issue.

So, I said, “no.”

He replied, “People who don’t know they are loved perform.”


Perform for love, perform for attention, perform for accolades and acknowledgement.

When we try to find love through “doing” we will never fall in love with ourselves.

And it is love of ourselves that shuts out the enemy’s voice and allows us to declare the truth of who we are over our lives. When we love ourselves at our core for who we are our mistakes don’t take us to shame.

Our society doesn’t talk much about self-love other than to cast it into the same barrel as being arrogant, spoiled, selfish and the like.

The truth is that godly love of ourselves spills onto others. (Love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself – Matthew 12:30-31)

When we truly fall in love with who we are—–I am the King’s daughter, He delights in me, He formed me, He rejoices over me with singing—–how could we treat others with contempt or from a place selfishness (Zeph. 3:17)?

Selfishness and the like come from a deficit of love, not an overabundance of it.

Arrogance is rooted in insecurity. It is based on accomplishments and the power that comes from what we do, not who we are. When a person struggles with arrogance, pride and selfishness, there is major wounding of the soul that is compensated for through self-reliance, not self-love.

I wonder if we can really love God if we don’t love ourselves?

heart-1450302_640I think we perform for Him when we don’t love who we are. For how can we receive His love if we don’t believe we are worthy?

So how do we fall in love with ourselves? That is an excellent question…one I’m in the midst of discovering.

I believe it starts with understanding who God says we are and then looking at what lies may be keeping us from embracing those truths. Meditating on His truths to ferret out the untruths.

When we can root out the lies there will be a place for truth to reside and love to grow within us…for God, for ourselves and for others.


Father, You are love. Your nature is rooted in love and I want to love myself as You love me. Please reveal and remove the lies that keep me from knowing Your grace and truth in fullness. Teach me how to walk in Your footsteps. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Photos via Pixabay

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