In my last post, I shared how God had exposed a mindset that I needed shaken free from. A wrong belief that I had to please God in order to have His presence.
As soon as that understanding took root, stress and the pressure to perform disappeared and I entered into what felt like a blissful vacation in my soul.
Recognizing at a deeper level that I truly don’t have to please Him for Him to be with me and work on my behalf.
I had no idea that I’d lived with this low-grade stress. It was a constant striving to “do it right” for Him. Like the accelerator in my mind was slightly stuck and pressuring me to “do” for Him.
So for a few days I lived in a state of blissful freedom. No pressure to have a quiet time or “put Him first,” but just choosing to talk to Him when I wanted to without the sense that I needed to.
But one morning I woke up feeling that familiar push. And with it came a lot of irritation. I resented the sense that I had to have a quiet time in order to have His presence with me.
So I took myself for a walk to talk it through with Him. My pressing question was, “What am I supposed to be doing?” It was rooted in finding the path that would please Him most.
Friendship With God
He shared with me that I’m searching for a servant/master relationship. Where the master tells the servant what to do and the servant does it well so he doesn’t get in trouble.
But that isn’t what He’s after. He’s looking for friendship (John 15:15).
Where I’m asking, “What do I do next? Is it X, Y or Z?” He’s asking, “What do you want to do?” That interests Him. He doesn’t just want to tell me what to do and have me execute His command. He wants to know what cranks my tractor. He’s interested in my dreams. Blew me away.
And then I remembered a prophetic word a guy gave me about a year ago. He said, “I feel there’s been frustration at times because you’re asking God what He thinks about something, but you don’t hear a response. And I think it’s because there’s an invitation from Him saying, “Well, what do you think about it?” I feel like He wants you to know He really values your input. That you have awesome ideas. I’m reminded of when Bill Johnson said, “The tabernacle of David was not God’s idea. It was David’s idea, but David was God’s idea. So God created David and He knew he would come up with cool ideas.” It’s the restful reality where you can be totally yourself with zero rigidity and be completely at rest.”
So I’m learning that God truly wants a friendship with an exchange of ideas and thoughts, laughter and joy. And true friendships have tensions and disagreements (though they all may be on our end of the conversation).
This possibility could frighten some. It could bring a fear that friendship with God brings Him down to a human level. But we need to remember that we are created in His image. Friendship with God elevates us to a new level in Him. Into relationship the way He designed it. Friendship with God expands our capacity to give and receive love.
He is not being transformed to us. We are being transformed into His image. And invited into deep and wonderful intimacy that develops us more fully into who we are designed to be.
Father, teach me how to be real with You. To share my thoughts even when they reveal the worst about me. Help me to understand that I am safe with You so I can be utterly and completely transparent with all of who I am. Reveal to me Your kindness and how deeply You love me so I can more fully understand who You are and what I mean to you. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Photos via Pixabay